Talking To Kids
One thing that always fascinates me when working with parents who are having trouble communicating with their kids, is this simple fact I ask them. ”Would you speak to your spouse or anyone else that way?” Of course, the answer is always no.
We think kids give us permission to tell someone what to do, what to think, how to act, who to be. And, that is the most fatal flaw with the evolution of parenting. How can we tell someone else who they are and then expect them to act responsibly in life. The first thing a kid does is rebel and then they go through a process of self-discovery–self-discovery connects the body, mind and spirit with the world in a balanced way.
For many of us this took sixty years!!! Or more! On the other hand we are seeing empowered kids who have little need of rebellion as they are always in the process of learning how to engage in the world from self rather than parental commands. And, like anything else, it requires balance. There are times every parent reaches a level of frustration that turns us into “our parents.” There are times we want kids to “Do what I tell you do.” This is the most important part of raising empowered kids, because empowered kids know that we screw up as much as they will as much as our parents did. Those kids will respond to our demands with, “I don’t have to do what you tell me to do all the time. That is not how you raised me.”
And, that is just what we want to hear, even when we can’t stand hearing it, because we do not want to raise kids that go through the world doing what every adult tells them to. There are times I act very childish, and my kids can stand back and bring attention to my actions in a way that helps me grow. And, that is what the goal of raising empowered kids is – to stand back and bring attention to our kids actions in a way that helps them grow. Isn’t that really how we treat our friends? Have a wonderful day and cherish those little cherubs that drive you absolutely crazy sometimes. It happens to all of us!!